In a December 2008 episode titled “Families under Fire,” Dr. Phil interviewed two couples whose marriages are under extreme strain due to financial matters. At the end of the segment, he shared specific strategies for improving marital relations during tough economic times.
Dr. Phil’s Marriage Survival Guide for Tough Times
Dr. Phil identified seven specific steps that couples can take to weather tough financial problems.
- Acknowledge and work the problem. Instead of getting angry, be honest and calm. Identify the problem and discuss what needs to be done to fix it.
- Identify the stressors in your relationship. Don’t put blame on a spouse when the problem is really the economy and the couple’s particular situation. Placing blame irrationally is counterproductive.
- Acknowledge fear. In this segment, the husband was having difficulty sharing his fears with his wife. Dr. Phil suggested that the husband open up about his fears and that the wife be open to hearing those thoughts.
- Have emotional integrity. According to Dr. Phil, egos should be put aside. He also urges spouses to keep promises to one another (as in, if you say you’re going to get a job, then do it).
- Be willing to ask for help. Collaborate and work in unison toward the same goal. One spouse cannot single-handedly save a household’s sinking financial ship if the other is not on board, especially if the other spouse is doing things to counteract any progress.
- List priorities, values and goals. Dr. Phil indicates that it’s okay to have different priorities. However, the couple’s collective goals should be merged into a single plan to ensure overall success.
- Have an action plan. Dr. Phil said,“The difference between a dream and a plan is a timeline. You’ve got to do checkups on yourself and see, ‘Am I moving forward?'” He suggests setting reasonable, realistic goals that both spouses can agree on and get excited about.
Advice for Couples with Financial Problems
Dr. Phil’s no-nonsense advice pointed out some harsh realities to the couples on the show, and common sense dictates that this particular strategy should work well for many couples under financial stress. His advice basically boiled down to honesty and commitment. During these tough economic times, couples need this advice more than ever.
Money Problems? Learn How to Save Money in Order to Cope with Financial Stress
Once a couple overcomes the hurdle of re-establishing communication, implementing specific money saving strategies may help remedy financial problems. The article How to Save Money by Cutting Back on Spending discusses some ways to start cutting back on expenses.
Resource:
Dr. Phil’s Marriage Survival Guide for Tough Times
Lena Gott - Lena Gott is a Certified Public Accountant who gives practical financial advice to her readers.
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